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WHATEVER HAPPENED TO MR POISON PEN WRITER? 

Jack Klugman - Original QuincyLadies and Gentlemen, you are about to enter the most important and fascinating sphere of the internet: the world of forensic server diagnostics. Where untold victims of  many email messages will reach back from the grave and point their finger accusingly at their assailant.

God I love this show... "I don't like it Quince"

The rules of ICTS Quincy investigates are simple:
Somebody sends an email, seemingly by natural causes. Quincy notices something that causes him to suspect foul play. Then he changes role from medical examiner to Network Administrator. ICTS Quincy's boss gets upset, believing that Quincy is seeing evidence that doesn't exist and he should go back to the day job. Not one person is allowed to point out that there are probably bodies rotting in the aisles, considering the amount of time he spends investigating just the one death. Quincy solves the case.

Cast your mind back to the Friday 19th May 2006. Nothing? Perthshire Advertiser? Nothing? OK! The Perthshire Advertiser carried the story of Sam Mayall from Cheshire, who was warned to stay away. "Malicious anti-Perthshire rant" yesterdays news, last months chip wrapper. Quick fire character assassination. ICTS Quincy was not convinced the attack on Business Perthshire was the result of stepping into the path of a moving vehicle.

Dammit!... "I don't like it Quince"

17th May 2006, 2 days earlier. 15:20 a wet Wednesday afternoon, ducks are looking for shelter. An email arrives from  samandrik@mayall4805xxxxxx at Business perthshire. ICTS Quincy checks the headers and the mail originates from a Cable and Wireless (Freeserve/Wanadoo) dialup account user. The user has a PC and used Outlook version 6 to compose the message. Unusual that was somebody supposedly near a main broadband backbone still using a dialup connection. Nothing suspicious yet.

17th May 2006, 16:31 Business Perthshire despatches a reply to samandrik@mayall4805xxxxxx. That's 71 minutes from the arrival of the message. Time taken to read the email, understand the email and type and spell check the reply. Off it went.

8 minutes later samandrik@mayall4805xxxxxx  had received the email, read the email, typed a new email and dispatched it into the ethernet to  third party. The email left for the desktop of Athole Murray (Perthshire Poison Pen Letter) Fleming's at 16:39.

Dammit!... "I don't like it Quince"

17th May 2006, 16:39 Athole Murray Fleming (Athole Design) has an email on the way from samandrik@mayall4805xxxxxx. ITCS Quincy woke up with a start and became immediately suspicious. Some sort of miracle had just occurred.

Quincy started the forensic testing of the email. 2 minutes to fully read the reply, 2 minutes to type the email and forward the same email. 2 minutes 30 seconds for the email to bounce off a fast mail server and return. That's 6 minutes 30 seconds, best round trip.  Testing conditions were for the fastest possible time.

Let's now consider the time Sam Mayall would take for the same message sending and replying on a dialup connection. If she knew the email was coming and waited on line it would take 1 extra minute to send and receive the email. That would leave about 30 seconds for the email to travel trough the end of business day traffic and arrive on the desktop of Athole Fleming. Quincy's best test was 1 minute 30 seconds for delivery.

Athole headersPutting aside all the time scales on the assumption that the scientific calculations of ICTS Quincy's are bollocks. samandrik@mayall4805xxxxxx took 8 minutes to read an email and forward a response to Athole Fleming.
A certain amount of collusion would be required to carry out this accomplishment. With Mr Fleming's previous career choice as the Poison pen letter writer this sort of stunt should be easy for a a man of his capabilities. Is it beyond belief that Athole Fleming setup the entire incident?

17th May 2006, 19:04 Athole Fleming then forwards the email to his friend Ex Chamber of Commerce Communications director and journalist at the Perthshire Advertiser - Gordon bannerman.The rest is yesterdays chip wrapper.

Is samandrik@mayall4805xxxxxx a genuine person. Does she exist or was this another faked email from Athole Fleming? 5 Rik Mayall's live in Cheshire, 4 are in the telephone book. The last one is Rik Mayall the comedian and his wife Barbera (rules him out) What was strange that none of the papers had appeared to contact Sam Mayall for her side of the story. Why contact Athole Fleming, he's on the bottom rung of the local pecking order. 

Artists impression of Sam MayallMr Fleming has previously masqueraded as people from other parts of the country with friends and family in Scotland or the local area. Very similar to the Sam Mayall background story. The only way that anybody would now believe that Sam Mayall was a real person is for her to produce 2 forms of photographic ID and a utility bill from a Cheshire company. It's about time the Chamber of Commerce expelled this embarrassment.  Perhaps they could also spend some time lobbying the council for tender contracts for local companies instead of being obsessed with websites.

Dammit!... "I don't like it Quince"

PERTHSHIRE BUSINESS ANNOUNCEMENT

Perthshire Business will shortly be removing all reference to Perth and Kinross Council, politicians and the Chamber of Commerce when the new site goes live July/August . We've all seen how they like to play, lacking in sophistication, enough said. There are 3,300 businesses in the Perth and Kinross area. The Chamber and friends represent a minority (7.5%) of businesses in the Perthshire area. The Perthshire Business website will be better utilised promoting the needs and aims of the majority of local business. We now have 2 year of internet data and popular search term to actively promote the other 92.5% of businesses in the Perth and Kinross area. The average monthly visitor count for Perthshire Business is 1,002 to the chambers visitor count of 139 during the last year (720% more traffic). We are more than certain that Perthshire Business can provide targeted internet promotions for any business in the area. Perthshire Business already provides business links for over 400 international businesses.


The  updates over at Dodgy Business - Did Perthshire Chamber of Commerce provide the ammunition for a friendly MP to provide false allegations to the local press. YOU DECIDE. PS: Theres only one place in Perthshire that could provide the misdirection.